select transmissions from jim towns

In the spring of 1864 I, along with many of the men of the Massachusetts 28th, was taken prisoner by the Confederates at Cold Harbor. We were held within the hellish walls of Andersonville during the last year of the War, and by the time word came of the South’s surrender, most of my Irish…

A gaggle of vampires went shopping. But they couldn’t get the automatic door to open.   the end

  The Monkey knows you’ve been cheating on your diet. The Monkey knows the nickname that girl in 5th grade made up for you. The Monkey knows what happened at the Nutcracker all those years ago. The Monkey knows some of your deductions last year were a little sketchy. The Monkey knows what you were…

 INT. MEXICAN EXTRADITION PRISON (CELL 443) – DAY ETHAN, A SKINNY 20-YEAR OLD MURDERER, AND EL CHAPO, A MIDDLE-AGED DRUG KINGPIN, ARE BOTH ON THEIR HANDS AND KNEES SCRATCHING AT THE CEMENT WALL OF THEIR CELL WITH PLASTIC SPORKS, TRYING TO DIG AN ESCAPE HOLE. BOTH WEAR ORANGE JUMPSUITS. ETHAN Okay this is kind of…

I was walking through Target the other day and saw a Spider-Man piñata on a shelf. I’m not sure who thinks hitting Spider-Man in the face with a stick is a smart idea, but they definitely weren’t watching the same cartoons I did growing up.

I had a dream last night that I discovered an entirely new row of keys on my laptop, labeled with strange characters, with which I could spell new and unknown things.