Act 1.

A man stands on a blank stage.

“MURDERER!” he yells at another man who stands across from him.

[the man who stands across is slightly taller]

In reply, the tall man takes out a small silver dog whistle and, putting it to his lips, blows a piercing shrill silent blast upon it [which the audience almost imagines they can hear].

Several members of the audience become enraged at the sound. Others commence performing strange acts including but not limited to:

covering their ears,

hiding under their seats,

stuffing their programs in their mouths,

urination.

A silence comes over the theatre, and the first man [the shorter one] chants the first stanza of an old dirty limerick to his opposite.

“There once was a young man named Enos…”

[the opposite man tries to imagine the next line of the limerick]

“Whose genitalia was disproportionately large.”

Many in attendance rise and leave the theatre.

End of Act 1.